I think my fart just growled at me.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
