woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
