Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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