You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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