i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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