i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize