as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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