plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
