Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize