I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
