So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
