John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
