i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize