we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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