I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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