Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
