Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
