Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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