Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
