Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
