I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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