omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't think brook has ever known best
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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