I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
