You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.