He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.