I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night