My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?