I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
