one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
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Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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