I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
