He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
