Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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