We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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