I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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