We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
