I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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