oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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