i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
