she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
