Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
