the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
