That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
