I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
