i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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