The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
