Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize