why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
