is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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