This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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