I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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