Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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