It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
