If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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