I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
accomplished twins. life is a go
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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