This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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