Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
