I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
