You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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