so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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