Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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