Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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