Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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