oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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