Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
