Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
