His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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