having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
