I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I deserve this hangover.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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