He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
