she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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