would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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