when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize