You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
